Getting Unstuck: Listening for How We Tell Our Own Stories – an Interview with Sarah Elkins

It’s not the stories that happen to us that shape our sense of self; it’s how we tell them that actually creates our personality.

We’re fortunate to be joined in this episode of “Getting Unstuck - Shift for Impact” by the incomparable Sarah Elkins. Sarah is a keynote speaker, a Gallup certified Strengths coach, and the creator of the annual, one-of-a-kind #NoLongerVirtual conference. She is also a communications coach, the host of the very popular podcast, Your Stories Don't Define You. How You Tell Them Will, and the author of a forthcoming book by the same name. The river that runs through everything she does is communication – the stories we tell ourselves, how we tell them, the patterns of thought they create, and the impact they have on our relationships.

Listen and Reflect:

“When somebody behaves badly, it’s really not about you. It’s about them.” How often have you found yourself taking responsibility for the behaviors and actions of others?

The keys to understanding your internal messages – those things you tell yourself that really limit your capability or capacity for change – are pivot points.” What pivot, or transition experiences did you have that created your internal messages? What was the context around those points – e.g., the time period when the pivot happened; what was going on at the time; the person who may have impacted you? What stories do you tell yourself as a result of those transitions?

“If you can tell a story that demonstrates one of your chief strengths, you’ll have a much greater impact. than if you just say you have the strength.” What’s one of your top strengths, and what’s a story that exemplifies it?

“I walk away from a troubled situation with self-reflection and try to ask myself a series of questions that get at what just happened, such as ‘Where did I contribute to that problem?’” How often are you able to catch yourself in those moments, pause, and reflect on what just happened?

When people are more self-reflective, they’re better communicators and their relationships improve.” How self-reflective are you?

“Upon self-reflection, if you notice a pattern in your thoughts and or behaviors, it might just have something to do with you.” What patterns of thought have you created by how you choose to look at past events?

To pre-order Sarah’s new book by August 31st Your Stories Don’t Define You. How You Tell Them Will click this link, and watch the video below for details.

A Special Offer: Provide proof-of-purchase of three or more pre-ordered copies of Sarah’s book and receive a free hour-long coaching session with Jeff on the career or leadership topic of your choice.

For more information on Sarah:


Elkins Consulting

#NoLongerVirtual2020 – Chicago, March 12-13

Jeff Ikler